May 6, 2009

There's still hope

There's still hope, miracles happen, it might, some families made it through court closures with late May referrals, are the words I'm hearing lately.
So with all that in mind, I am accepting that fact that we most likely will not make court closures. With no referral in hand it makes it very difficult to pass court(wish it was not the case).
So we will be packing up, selling everything and we will be heading to Ethiopia.......I wish, but unfortunately we have jobs, and a big Benny dog to take care of. I'm not completely giving up HOPE. But I have to prepare my heart and mind for this. This is not what we want and we have been sooooo frustrated lately, but I have got to believe this is our path for some strange reason. Now if we get a referral in the next couple months, which I'm HOPING again that will happen, we have been number one (on the so called list) for 5 weeks now for a baby girl, then we will have to wait it out and trust that she will be very loved and cared for while we wait to go pick her up. I will be heavily medicated, but I have wonderful family and friends to lean on.
I have to trust that WE will be parents one day. Just not when we thought. We believe our daughter is in Ethiopia, and we can't wait to look into your her eyes and one day tell her the story of our love for her even before we met her. So with all this, we are preparing for the worst, but are HOPING for the best. I will keep you all posted. Thank you to everyone who has been keeping us in your prayers, I feel them all...

18 comments:

Julie said...

Sigh.

Missy said...

There is still time...

(But if we get caught in court closure, we are planning on going over this summer to meet our little one. I want so badly to take my boys and the fall will just not be possible for them...)

Eryn said...

Erin, I am SO praying that you will not be waiting that long. Praying for God to move mountains and get you your referral SOON.

Sandi said...

Erin I am praying so much for you. Reading your post brought me back to last year at this time. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this, I know how hard sitting at #1 for months is.

I know it is cliche and I really didn't enjoy it when people told me this but I am going to pass on their sage advice. It will happen and when it does it will be the most perfect child for you. One day you will be on the other side and passing out this same advice.

It. will. happen. I don't know when but I know it will.

(((HUGS))) and prayers as you continue to wait.

Becky said...

Erin,
I think of you constantly and wonder each day if they have called you yet with wonderful news. You are so wonderful and I can't imagine how hard this has been for you. Since you have waited so patiently I think CHI should do whatever possible to get you through court before the rainy season (smile). Hope you have planned a wonderful gettaway!

Nate and Stefany Head said...

Still praying, friend, that you will see that sweet face THIS WEEK!!!

elisa said...

Erin, I am still not accepting that we might not make court closures. I can't imagine having to wait that long. There's still HOPE!

Cara said...

oh er bear, so sorry. this is just not fair. we were all hoping you'd be there and back by now.
i am sure i can keep you distracted when we arrive in portland.
you're in our thoughts and prayers!
cara

Verna said...

Praying for you as you wait.
Hopefully it will be soon!

Stephanie said...

(((Hugs))) Erin I know this is so hard. I am so sorry you are waiting so long. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

haze said...

Erin, I feel your pain. I am in very much in the same position as you. I've been told I'm #1 for an infant girl for weeks now, and I'm worrying about court closures too.

Wishing us both speed and great timing in the days, weeks, and months to come.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I check your blog from time to time (we are planning an Ethiopian adoption in a few years) and each time I pull up your page, I am fervently hoping that you will have great news to share. You and your husband seem like such sweet people and I know you will be richly rewarded with a lovely baby girl. Just wanted you to know that even strangers like me are cheering you on and wish you lots of good things!! :)

~Kari in NC

Brad and Fran Hoagland said...

Continuing to pray very fervently here that you will get that call. We are LONG overdue to get many baby girl referrals. I am inspired by your acceptance of the possibility that court closures may come before you get to travel, but I refuse to accept it (for you!LOL!) I just wanna scream for you and I really just wanna call Toni and ask her what is up and its not even any of my business. Sorry, you posted such self control and here I am probably making it worse for you, but I just want you to know that I'm frustrated for you. I cannot wait for the day you can post all about it. I will stop saying "It cannot be much longer" because that has been said enuf. And enuf is enuf. Come on phone!!! Ring!!!!!

Annie said...

Keeping up the prayers for you and your little girl. My saying last spring was "best case scenario" and we're hoping the BEST CASE SCENARIO for you...which means a referral SOON (like tomorrow ;) and a court date within 2 months and having your little one home in July. yep, a best case scenario is what you need...and well, maybe a margarita, too ;)

big hugs---

Christie said...

I rarely dole out adoption advice - because I've been where you are and for me, it did not "all melt away the moment I saw his face". I still remember how it felt prior to being a mom - vividly.

So here's my $.02

It will happen - and when it does - the pain that you feel now will make so much more sense. So much more. And it's not that you will forget the pain, but rather that the pain will be oh so very worth it. And you would walk over hot coals and through a fire to get to your daughter again, if that's what it took. That's the beauty of the process - you will look into her eyes and know that someday you will be able to say how much you labored for each other...

Trust me on this one -

For now, it's ok to hurt. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Hugs

jamullins said...

Praying for you everyday, Erin. You have been on my mind these days.


Julie

Justine said...

Erin - There is still time. Someone just got a May court date from our new agency. Don't give up hope. You'll be in ET this summer - I just know it!

Amber said...

Oh man, I thought i would have read about a referral by now. You have great attutudes! It's coming....